Anger Management...

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Many things here come and go
One wrong step
Tempers flare
For reasons unknown
Fighting to keep this anger at bay
Take deep breaths
Insignificant rage
These muddled thoughts
Calm-it's what I long for
In. Out. Slowing the beats
Pacing the speed
Just let it go....
This environment, so unforgiving
Triggering the unnecessary
Such bitterness
Walking timebombs on every corner
A lost city with souless people
Dragging, pulling, pounding
Beating you to the ground
Happier times have been had
Those days, unappreciated and long forgotten.
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Lately, I feel like I've outgrown this city. Twenty-seven years of living in the same place. All is different yet the same. Days melt into each other. Plans grow to become routine. Boredom sets in. I need to leave to appreciate all the things that make up this city. I do love it. I'm glad I was born and raised here, I wouldn't have had it any other way. But I feel like with time, and age, just like your skin grows thin, so does this city's charm. This city is falling apart. Thinking back years ago, pre-911, life was much better. Granted, I'm stating the obvious. But before that day I had never thought I'd ever want to leave the greatest city in the world - New York City.

Time has past. My life has changed. Feelings like the seasons come and go, and just like that I've decided it is time for me to explore. To call somewhere else home.

To start new.

I know I will be leaving many great memories behind here. Memories which i hold dear, and memories which hurt. But those memories are all mine, and I will have them as long as I stay sound in mind.

It's hard to even begin thinking back to a few years ago. My life was definitely different. Had I stayed on that path, I'd most likely be miserable, and pretend to be happy.

Now. I am happy. Happy about my life's choices that have lead me here, so far. Granted much is lacking in the dating department, but besides that - all is fantastic. I couldn't be happier.

I've learned from it all. And I'm learning still.

My life is no where near where I'd like it to be, however for now, I guess it's just right.

So I'll leave this entry the way it is.

Goodnight.

-I.Beezy