Just Breathe.

I read this quote today, and well it's pretty true to life I must say...

"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."

It's a good quote from a movie that I did not see...cus well it seems way too sappy and chick flicky "The Holiday". I'll probably never watch it, but I'm glad I found this quote by accident...hehe

This is exactly how I am feeling lately. That life seems so long ago, yes, I rehashed it and missed things from it. But it's long gone and done with. Yes, I'm glad I went through some of the experiences that came with that relationship, but I'm eager to find something newer and better. Something substantial. I feel like at this point in my life, most of that relationship was immature.

I feel I've grown so much. I think back to how I was, who I was...I'm not the same. I've learned, changed. It's a great feeling to know that you've progressed. Especially after so much of missing, crying, reminiscing...etc. I actually grew tired of reminiscing... It's like okay that was then...this is now... I want now. I value the NOW more than I do the THEN.

I'm actually happy with everything. The happiest I've been in years. No misery, no torment, no annoying stress outside of work related things. It's great.

I can breathe. And I want to inhale the world...haha now I sound like a pothead.

I don't know how to describe it, there really aren't words, it's just a tremendous feeling.

I am my own person. I am as independent as I can get at the moment. I have my own life. I don't revolve around someone else's schedule or life anymore.

I can't believe it's already mid-June. Insane!

September is right around the corner...you know what that means! West Coastage!

There's not much exciting going on in my life lately. Just laying low, relaxing and hanging with my friends when I get a chance, also helping my folks when I am needed (most days).

But other than that, nothing crazy.

I'm ready to date but I've discussed this time and time again, no opportunities. And having a crush that is unattainable is just well plain dumb, but that's where I am at right now.

Celeb crushes and unattainable ones. Blah.

Anyways, its about that time.

G'night folks!

xoxo I.Beezy