Aloof.

Created from a random twist
a light is brought forth
casting shadows upon a deserted hallway
few have followed down this path
reminents of a day dream
caught up in the surreal
shaken by the subconscious
yearning for guidance
alone.
hollowing images project through your mind
escaping the parallels of the norm
waking - would distrupt this subliminal state
existing between two worlds
neither here, nor there.

One.

Hearts beating rapidly
tangled into each other
eyes locking
igniting the flames within
burning fast
overwhelming passions
their bodies as one

Anger Management...

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Many things here come and go
One wrong step
Tempers flare
For reasons unknown
Fighting to keep this anger at bay
Take deep breaths
Insignificant rage
These muddled thoughts
Calm-it's what I long for
In. Out. Slowing the beats
Pacing the speed
Just let it go....
This environment, so unforgiving
Triggering the unnecessary
Such bitterness
Walking timebombs on every corner
A lost city with souless people
Dragging, pulling, pounding
Beating you to the ground
Happier times have been had
Those days, unappreciated and long forgotten.
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Lately, I feel like I've outgrown this city. Twenty-seven years of living in the same place. All is different yet the same. Days melt into each other. Plans grow to become routine. Boredom sets in. I need to leave to appreciate all the things that make up this city. I do love it. I'm glad I was born and raised here, I wouldn't have had it any other way. But I feel like with time, and age, just like your skin grows thin, so does this city's charm. This city is falling apart. Thinking back years ago, pre-911, life was much better. Granted, I'm stating the obvious. But before that day I had never thought I'd ever want to leave the greatest city in the world - New York City.

Time has past. My life has changed. Feelings like the seasons come and go, and just like that I've decided it is time for me to explore. To call somewhere else home.

To start new.

I know I will be leaving many great memories behind here. Memories which i hold dear, and memories which hurt. But those memories are all mine, and I will have them as long as I stay sound in mind.

It's hard to even begin thinking back to a few years ago. My life was definitely different. Had I stayed on that path, I'd most likely be miserable, and pretend to be happy.

Now. I am happy. Happy about my life's choices that have lead me here, so far. Granted much is lacking in the dating department, but besides that - all is fantastic. I couldn't be happier.

I've learned from it all. And I'm learning still.

My life is no where near where I'd like it to be, however for now, I guess it's just right.

So I'll leave this entry the way it is.

Goodnight.

-I.Beezy

It's so emo.

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dark clouds roll in
the blackened sky falls
awakened by tears
shattered against the walls
 shadows dance
everything fades fast
listen for the crows
their ghastly cries
the seasons pass
in a blink of an eye
the life around us 
all slowly dies
lives are lost
turned to dust
swept by the wind
carried away
never heard of again.

by i.beezy 

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Misery...

What you ask is "it"? 
 Misery.
Does misery like company?

I walk through Penn Station on a daily basis, I stand to the side, waiting for my train home, just like everyone else. People watching...I observe everyone from the sidelines. People rushing to catch their trains home. People running, practically knocking others down to get to their track, and then realizing they're 2 seconds too late, the train doors have closed. They curse under their breath, because now, they have to wait an annoying 20 more minutes until the next train comes along.

I stand there watching. I merely lean against the wall quietly, and watch. Sounds rather creepy, huh? But that's what I do I people watch, it's like watching the Animal Planet. You see the hurds, like  wildebeests migrating across the Serengeti. You see so many people. So many different types of people. Different colors, different shapes, different sizes, different types of clothes, from all walks of life...etc...but ALL of these different people have TWO things in COMMON:

1. They're all rushing to get home.
2. They all have this one common MISERABLE look on their faces.

My questions:
-Does this city drain people of happiness?
I rarely see people happy and smiling. I mean come on now, you're going home.

-Does work drain you?
For me, I believe so...(not anymore...lol)

-Does this city take your soul?
Hmm...perhaps. Or maybe I do? Muahaha...

...but seriously folks...

Misery. Does it love company?
So many of these people share this same common facial expression/emotion.

I, for one have that same exact miserable look on my face while waiting for the train or riding it for that matter.
We all do.

And you know what, when someone just as miserable looking as you comes along and stands next to you on the platform or sits/stands next to you on the train, your first thought is: "Why the fuck are you standing/sitting so close to me, go do that somewhere else, go bother someone else...leave me alone!" 

It's never:

-Hey you miserable bastard, please talk to me
-I would love it if you hovered next to me, with your stinky ass
-I love that you refuse to use deodorant
-I love how you perspire even when it's 20 below outside...
-I love the way your dandruff flutters down off your shoulders and onto my jacket sleeve...
-I love that you forgot to wash your hair and I can SMELL the greasies off your head because you are that close to me...
-No fat bastard...please stare at my tits...it will only make my day that much better...
-Please pan-handler...Ask me for money...Oh...oh ask ME!!
-Hey annoying kid please pick your nose and rub it on my pant leg...I wouldn't want it anywhere else
-Oh I would love it if next time you coughed/sneezed directly onto my face, rather than just in my general area...
-Hey homeless dude, maybe you should start bottling your urine, I just can't get enough of the smell...Please waft it in my direction...
-Hey incompetent parent...please make your child scream/cry louder, no no it's okay, it will only help this headache I have...

And...right there...my friends...is proof, that MISERY...DOES NOT LIKE COMPANY... haha.